BAG LADY

"Bag lady you goin' hurt your back
Draggin' all 'em bags like that
I guess nobody ever told you
All you must hold on to
Is you, is you, is you" -Erykah Badu

Hunny, you gotta drop the baggage and take the leap of faith. I know your're comfortable with the pain, and "patience" is not your strongest virtue. But, you are carrying a load that isn't for you. I know your "frienemies" hurt you, your man didn't accept you for you and your family is trying to understand you. But I promise God will give you Beauty for your ashes. It's the perfect trade. He just wants you to have the perfect carry on. 

The hate that you harbor in your heart may seem comfortable to you, but it's BAGGAGE. The negativity that spits from your mouth may seem like "your just keeping it REAL," but it's BAGGAGE. That hot temper that you call your attitude, it's BAGGAGE. The friend that love oh so dearly but slips your best kept secrets, it's BAGGAGE. The guy that you allow to keep coming in and out of your life, IT IS BAGGAGE!!! I know it's hard to let go, I know you have history, I know you have kids together, I know your negatives are your comfortable for you, BUT IS IT HEALTHY?

I know everyone has a "New Year, New Me" speech. But God can give you LIFE and LIFE ABUNDANTLY. All you have to do is drop your bags. Cast every care on Him, for His yoke is easy and His burdens are light. Don't go into this year with the same issues from last year. Let God take your broken pieces so he can turn your life into a MASTERPIECE. 

Authentically Yours,

Ariel Marie

BEHIND THE SCENES

I remember a few months ago I was blessed enough to play the role of Effie White in the spectacular production of Dreamgirls. I was so excited about the opportunity and nervous all at the same time. I would think, "What if they don't like my voice? I'm no J-Hud, why would they pick me? I'm a little too big for this role, will they like me? Can I learn all the songs? Will I be able to learn the routines?" I doubted myself but most of all I had FEAR.

FEAR is defined as the following; to be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening. I was fearful of the preparation for the production. I remember being at my first vocal practice with the music director for the show, (my hands were so watery from all the sweat) I was holding the sheet music in my hands thinking, "Lord, he won't like my voice. Why am I even here?" I was singing one of the most difficult songs of the production and it was a solo, I was in the middle of the song and he stopped playing. "Oh Lord, he HATES IT!!!" I said to myself. "Your voice is unique, it knows what to do, stop being FEARFUL and show me what you got."

Yeah, he said it. And I'll never forget it. Safe to say, I sang the song. And his transparent words helped me through every  practice. The more I practiced the songs and rehearsed my lines, I became more comfortable. Before I knew it, it was opening night. This was the moment all of my hard work, the late nights, voice lessons, and strenuous rehearsal practices would pay off. 

Two hours before the opening act was BANANAS!!! My dress for the opening scene had ripped, my shoes were missing and I was losing my voice. In other words, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!! And the only thing I did was went in the back restroom and sobbed like a newborn baby that was just smacked on the "hind parts." Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. I let my FEAR get the best of me. Eventually, I got it together though. I fixed up some tea, did a quick-fix on my dress, and listened to my music for the production. Before I knew it, it was time for me to go on stage for my scene. Everything ran smoothly; the music, dress changes and the songs. 

Once the show was over, we met with the audience and I was surprised by how many people came up to me and informed me of how much they loved the show. I smiled, gave hugs, I even gave a few autographs (flips hair). Little girls came up to me and told me they wanted to grow up and sing just like me, older women told me I brought tears to their eyes and I just stood in awe. I remember a man asking me, "How do you sing all of those songs with all that power?" I simply replied, "You have no idea what takes place BEHIND THE SCENES."

That's how life is, right? We encounter situations that will bring out our worst case of FEAR. We go through situations we think we can't handle, all the while God has given us the POWER to conquer every problem that we encounter. FEAR will keep you in the back restroom, sobbing like a newborn, but GOD, GOD will restore all things and have people looking in disbelief. 

Preparation takes time. You cant have a full course meal with the snap of your fingers. You cant have a new hairstyle without waiting to get it done. You cant have a baby without waiting nine months. Everything in life takes time. Let God do the preparing, because AFTER THE SHOW, people will be in DISBELIEF.

Authentically Yours,

Ariel Marie

STAY IN YOUR LANE

A few months ago I remember traveling to Houston, Texas to celebrate my best friend's birthday. Earlier that day my mom had begged me not to go because I had a few speeding tickets that I hadn't paid yet, and she was fearful I would get stopped. But me, being the rebellious daughter that I am, I didn't care. (Don't act like you haven't rebelled against your parents, I'm just honest about mine.) So, I packed down my little red hooptie (which had an oil leak) and hit I-10 with a vengeance.

I had to be there for my best friend because she was there for me during the toughest time of my life. She would come home at least twice a week to make sure I was okay, so I was going to be there for her to celebrate her birthday. Safe to say, I made it to Houston. But as soon as I got in, I was caught in traffic. I ABSOLUTELY HATE TRAFFIC!!!!!

Lord, I almost lost my mind. Cars coming in and out of each and every lane. And me, I was rubbing my hands through my weave, screaming unholy words at the drivers. But I couldn't go anywhere I was stuck in traffic. I couldn't change lanes, I couldn't move out of one lane and go to the next. I saw in other lanes how everyone was moving forward driving full speed, but they were headed in a different direction. In order for me to get to where I was going, I had to stay in my lane, put on some of my ratchet music, and wait until it was time for me to drive. Of course, being in TRAFFIC put me behind schedule, but I had WAIT.

Some of you are experiencing a few traffic problems in your life. You want to move forward but your pace is not like everyone else. Everyone is moving forward with their lives but you're watching from another lane. Staying in your lane can be very discouraging, it can be painful, you're wanting to move forward like everyone else, but hear the voice of The Lord when he says, "Be STILL and know that I AM GOD." He sees you and knows the desires of your heart. He's listening to your prayers and he sees the work you are doing for his kingdom.

It's safe to say that I did make it out of traffic, but as I was driving I noticed there had been a horrible car wreck on the highway. Immediately I began to thank God for his grace and for making me BE STILL when I wanted to move FORWARD.

Staying in your lane isn't always a bad thing, especially when God is the mix. Sometimes when we move at our OWN pace in our OWN lane we may cause COLLISION. We may even damage the very thing God was trying to prevent in the first place. You can prevent heartbreak by not RUSHING into bed with your potential "bae." You can prevent that financial burden by not splurging on yourself this week and "saving your coins." You can prevent that argument with your parents or friends if you just open up your ears and shut your mouth.

Don't get caught up in the wait that you start to carry the weight of your problems. Be at "peace" in your traffic. Because you never know what kind of danger God is trying to prevent.

Authentically Yours,

Ariel Marie

STRIPPED

As women, we work very diligently in our churches to make sure everything is ran smoothly. Some of us have the role of First Lady, Pastor's / Preacher's Daughter, Deaconess, Usher Board President, Praise & Worship Leader, Choir Member, Pastor's Aide President and the list goes on. We find time to be there for everyone during their most painful experiences. We're taught to control our anger, tame our tongue, and represent the Kingdom in an wholesome manner. But what happens when your world falls apart and God is silent?

As the daughter of  Pastors, my life has always been put on display. And going through a divorce doesn't make it any better. For the past 11 years I've shared my parents with the community and surrounding cities. Sharing is NOT a great asset I posses. I'm selfish with my parents, and if you are a Pastor's/Preacher's Kid then you catch my drift.

I've watched them pray for people who have left them high and dry. I've seen them get up in the middle of the night and travel to pray for a family who lost a loved one. I've seen them minister in front of people who they knew have disgraced their name. But they never once returned the favor. I remember hearing my mother say, "When you know WHO YOU ARE, nothing else matters."

So the question lies, WHO ARE WE?

I can honestly say that I've never seen the true value of my life until I hit rock bottom in my divorce. I didn't understand why God could let this happen to ME. "But I go to church every Sunday, I sing for you, I've never cheated on my husband." I'd say. But was it done genuinely?

After separating from my husband "doing church" was my cover up. It covered up my anger, my hurt, my disappointment, and my shame. However, A little sip from my "sippie cup" helped me through my lonely weekends, "my healing trees" helped me numb the pain, and my "special night caps" was my way of getting the temporary love that I needed for the moment.

I didn't know a thing about self-love or self-value. I just wanted to feel good so I wouldn't feel bad. "I don't love you and I want a DIVORCE!!!!" constantly ran through my head. I was angry, so I drank. I was lonely, so I would sleep around. Melody Battle says it best, "discounting our emotions won't make our feelings go away."

So I decided to strip down the layers of my pain. I had to forgive and let things be. I had to forgive my husband for telling me he never loved me. I had to forgive myself for devaluing my body and treating it like it was nothing. I had to get to my core and heal. I had to heal from the INSIDE so it could show on the OUTSIDE. I was so busy being lost that I never took the time to find myself. I hid my pain behind Praise & Worship and cried behind my prayers.

But this time I had to STRIP. I had to strip away my roles of being the Pastor's Daughter, Praise & Worship Leader, Office Manager, Sunday School Teacher, I had to TAKE IT OFF!!! I had put so much energy into hiding my pain that I became exhausted. I was tired, I didn't want to be in church, I didn't even want to go to church but something kept pushing me and pulling away my layers.

It was God. It had to be Him, I was just too busy "turning up" that I couldn't hear him speaking to me. But I learned that STRIPPING isn't always a bad thing. I had to take off the things that were holding me hostage to a lifestyle I didn't recognize. I realized that it was okay for me to not always be "on fleek" or wear my makeup everyday. It's okay to NOT be okay.

You can STRIP too!!! Let Jesus into your core so people can see you shine from the INSIDE out.

Authentically Yours,

Ariel Marie